Well, January is not going as I had hoped. I cannot for the life of me get out of this lapsing rut. I'll be ok for a bit and then head turns to mush and I go all gaga and eat something. I don't know what is happening. I think maybe that part of it is that I am getting so close to my interim goal that I am gettin complacent and start thinking that I can get away with just a bite of this. But that one bite is NEVER just one bite. It's just ends up rolling all out of control and before I know it, I've eaten a three course meal including a steak, which (a) I don't even like and (b) I am not supposed to eat because it does, and did in fact, cause me to have the most horrendous gall stone attacks. I was so close to being in A&E on Saturday night. And it was all my own very stupid fault. It's the main reason that on Su
nday, I went through my whole wardrobe and tried everything on! Well that was some inspiration. So many clothes just do not fit me anymore, they are falling off me. All the clothes that are left are from the time I was an 18-20 previously and I was really happy. So I am hoping that wearing these clothes now will help me to stay focused on where I want to be. Because all of those big clothes are gone now. There is no going back. Unless I go back naked!
I also tried on some old clothes that are 4/5 sizes too big now. And obviously had to photograph the moment!! I can't believe how big I was. There was a part of me who couldn't see any change at all. And this shut her up good and proper! Those trousers in the picture on the right hand side used to be TIGHT on me! I could almost fit another person in there now and I'm not at goal yet.
nday, I went through my whole wardrobe and tried everything on! Well that was some inspiration. So many clothes just do not fit me anymore, they are falling off me. All the clothes that are left are from the time I was an 18-20 previously and I was really happy. So I am hoping that wearing these clothes now will help me to stay focused on where I want to be. Because all of those big clothes are gone now. There is no going back. Unless I go back naked!I also tried on some old clothes that are 4/5 sizes too big now. And obviously had to photograph the moment!! I can't believe how big I was. There was a part of me who couldn't see any change at all. And this shut her up good and proper! Those trousers in the picture on the right hand side used to be TIGHT on me! I could almost fit another person in there now and I'm not at goal yet.
It's an interesting time because I am so happy at the progress I have made so far and I want so much to get to a point where I feel that I'm "right". But I just seem to have hit this lapsing obstacle and I don't know how to get past it. I am determined to try though. Just get past it. The way I see it, the better behaved I am, the faster the weight will come off and the quicker I get to goal and be able to get into a "normal" eating regime. I don't want to go mad. I just want to be able to eat like a "normal" person!! I don't think I have ever said that before. I think before it has always been, "I'll lose the weight and then I'll go back to eating what I did before" mentality. Gee, I guess I am making some progress.
Two bonuses of the lapsing thing. I have learnt a few things about food that I eat and how it affects my body. Like I eat crap, I feel sick. I eat healthy food, I don't feel sick! Simple yes, but did I really feel that crappy all the time? I remember saying "I feel sick" a lot but I never thought it was because of the horrible food I was eating!
The other thing is that my body has had a rest from the quick weight loss and I can feel the difference. Because I've remained within a half stone bracket for the last month, I think my body has had a chance to readjust. I have a new shape. And even though I haven't lost as much, clothes are getting looser! But that is now excuse to lapse. It would have happened at the end anyway!!!
Onward to the end of this journey. No more lapsing!!
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