Day 82 - Monday, 8th December 2008

I'm only 15 days off being in abstinance for a whole 100 days! I may have said this before, but honestly, if anyone had said to me 3 months ago that I would still be living off Water, Protein Shakes and cereal bars 82 days on, I would have told them they were stark raving bonkers! I think I've really started to understand that I don't NEED chocolate to live. I don't NEED fizzy drinks to survive. The importance of my existance is not determined by the amount of food I can shovel into my mouth! How come it has taken me this long and to go through something this extreme to realise that?

I am just so excited about the future now. It just seems that I can do anything now. Losing weight has been the biggest trial of my life. And surely, this is as tough as it gets! Right? Don't get me wrong, I know it's not all smooth sailing and lets face it I have a way to go yet until I'm at some kind of healthy weight. But I can definitely now see that I am on the right path. I only have to look at my latest comparison picture to see that! I did my latest comparison after I went out to buy my dress for New Years Eve.

I had seen this dress and I really wanted it. But I knew that they only had a size 20 left. I also knew that there was this huge differencial in sizes across the board. In one shop I may be 22 in another a 24 in another an 20 and on and on and on. So reluctantly I picked up the dress and two others, both in size 22's. Thinking the worst, I tried on the 22. And to my absolute shock, it was too big! Of course the next stage was to try on the 20. But I still kept thinking, "this is never going to fit me". And god dammit, it fit. So there I was prancing around the fitting rooms at Debenhams in this dress, getting all these lovely remarks from people in the waiting area. I don't think that has ever happened to me before. Usually people don't talk to me in fitting rooms, never mind tell me I look fabulous! A brilliant experience all in all. And I couldn't wait to share the dress! So I took a picture to send to my friend!

When I got home, I remembered that the last time I bought a dress was in July for my friends 21st birthday. I was 3 sizes bigger then. So I dug out the photo I knew that I had of me in that dress back in July. And when I put it side by side with the picture I took in the fitting rooms at Debenhams, I was in shock. How much have I shrunk? It's just unbelivable and definite inspiration to continue throughout Christmas and New Year. And now I can look forward to my baby brother's birthday in February. And an excuse for a new dress and a new comparison picture!